With the death month of September behind me, I was looking forward to anything! And October brought many surprises.

 

To begin with, I hadn’t really had any modeling jobs, and (tbh) I was kind of giving up on the idea already. The hectic month of August and the dire month of September had taken away some of my luster. I had regressed on my body positivity and happiness progress… I could feel the sadness lurking. I didn’t care about posting on the gram or writing on my blog (two of the things that had helped me get back on track). I honestly just felt exhausted, and the only thing that was keeping me somewhat happy was that I had finally and arduously completed my book. I was quickly becoming my own worst enemy.

And then it happened, as things tend to happen all at once, I got a DM from a swimsuit company. They wanted me to be the e-commerce model for their swim line. Then, another company that I collaborated with wanted to do a fashion shoot and they wanted to include Achilles… because they were representing their models’ talents and mine was being a mom and a writer. And Eloquii also reached out to do a styling session and an NBC 6 in the mix appearance… and everything came at once.

Then, I reached out to a few people to do publicity for my book and all of them responded. Before I knew it, I had radio interviews, news paper reviews, and local poetry and literature powerhouses agreeing to promote my book. And the locations I had selected to do the launch party and the presentations had both gladly agreed… not only that, I had even scored some sponsors!

It seemed as if I was in some sort of surreal dream. October 2018 had quickly turned into one of the best months of my life. After so much anxiety and stress, great things were happening, and I felt like the luckiest girl in the world…

October was another wakeup call. Another reminder that giving up is NEVER an option. That I can do great things if I want to. And that no matter how hard things get I have to push through because tomorrow can and will be a better day.

And here I am in November, another e-commerce shoot under my belt. My author copies in my hand and ready to be sent out to the different entities that requested them. A wedding I’m the works. Another tv segment… and my book launch. I feel incredibly blessed to be able to share this with you.

AND THE MAIN REASON IS THAT I TRULY NEVER BELIEVED IT WOULD HAPPEN.

And it may seem insignificant, but the significance to me is great.

A year ago I was convinced my life would be over. I was sure that I’d be miserable, at home, limited by my new role as a mother… but really I was only limited by my poor expectations of myself. If someone would have told me just a few months ago that my reality in November would be what it is, I would laugh (and then cry because I was sure it wouldn’t happen). And I know so many of my girl friends have felt and feel that way now. I have one pregnant one and two with newborns who have told me that they are afraid; they don’t want to be obsolete.

But the truth is, you won’t. We won’t. We have the power to be our greatest obstacle, but we also have the power to be our greatest virtue. And if we put our negativity aside, and if we push through our excuses, we can do whatever we want to do…

I promise.