I was 21.

I had all the energy in the world.

I remember partying all night and going home for a quick change of clothes to head to work.

I was young and beautiful.

I had no responsibility and the world at my feet.

Yet, I lacked the courage to face the world and do what I dreamed.

There weren’t many “models” like me back then. “You should model,” were words I got bored of listening to as I looked on the runways to find women who looked nothing like me.

I was too big to be a model. I didn’t know of Ashley Graham or Iskra; I didn’t have a role model. I felt out of place and inadequate… and I was probably perfect back then…. much more perfect than I am now…. definitely.

But I have something now that I didn’t have then, that I haven’t had for the past 10 years. I’m not quite sure what it is, maybe motherhood or perhaps I’m getting old…likely it’s a little bit of both. But now is when I decided to give myself a call to action, to do something I dreamed of doing for so long. And to my surprise, it’s actually happening. Slowly and sporadically but it is. For the first time in my life, someone said to me the other day, “You’re perfect. Exactly what we’re looking for.” And it didn’t really matter because I wasn’t looking for that anymore. It was just a job. And I got. And that was all.

If someone would have told 21 year old me that at 31 I would be accomplishing so many of our dreams, I would have laughed. She wasn’t the kind of girl to take a risk, she was worried what people would say… how they would react.

These days, I have much too much to worry about. I have my family and my son. I have sleep to worry about. I have my happiness and self fulfillment to worry about. All of these things are more important than what anyone has to say or what anyone thinks.

So I am here to tell you that it’s never too late… I know I’m still young, but when I think of how long ago I could have started living my dreams, it seems like an eternity. Like time wasted… even though maybe it wasn’t for me until now. And I wish I could go back and tell myself to go for it and take the leap. To do what I please. To publish my book and not feel shame of what people would think. To stop waiting to be liked and accepted. There is so much I wish I could change, and then I know if I did I may have never gotten to where I needed to be.

Happy Friday, y’all. And remember to do you.

I know I have been away for a minute, and things have really been hectic, but I will go back and fill in the holes in this blog. There’s been so much! I’ll be sharing soon. Thank you for always reading!