Before I birthed my Achilles, I felt I had all the time in the world. Things moved slowly, and it didn’t really matter. I could chose to do something or not. The world was literally my oyster… except I didn’t have the tools to open it.

I remember my pre-mommy days. I wasn’t ecstatic about my career. I loved teaching, and I adored my students, but I was disappointed in a failed system, and I felt I’d burn out eventually. I wanted a change, but I didn’t have the courage to make it. I was content with my job, and my life was comfortable. Had I not had a life changing experience, I would have likely been there forever.

Then, something happened. Becoming a mother set off a sense of urgency in me. Maybe facing depression and anxiety was what gave me the drive to push through. Maybe my changing body was the element I needed to decide to model. Maybe having more time was the factor that helped me decide to put together my anthology after ten years. Maybe being a mother was what gave me the strength to not care what anyone thought about me, or perhaps it was the desire to be someone who my son would be proud of. Sometimes, I think it is just my way of dealing with anxiety—keeping insanely busy.  I cannot pinpoint exactly what is the driving force that set me on a path of go-go-go and do-do-do, but I am on it. And I wasn’t on it before motherhood.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not exactly on a path to major success; in fact, I am not even sure of what I am doing or what my end goal is. But I am doing. I am not afraid. I am trying everything that I have ever wanted to try, and I believe that it happened at the perfect time. Still, I am unsure of what the future holds for me. I may go back to teaching with a new perspective, or I may change my career completely. The possibilities are limitless, but that’s something that’s become apparent to me NOW.

I firmly believe that it took me becoming a mom to get me moving—that and an incredible husband who supports me in everything that I do (and I believe that being a father has changed him too). All I know is that I’m glad everything has happened the way it has. And that you are tagging along for the ride. It’s always good to have an outlet—someone to lend an ear. Thanks for being mine.